It seems like in choosing a job that makes us happy, we want to know how happy other jobs will make us (compared to our current one). We need a sample to compare our current experience too. Maybe this is the case in relationships too. How does the current relations make you feel compared to past ones? (note that we are probably misremembering–maybe journals are better). It seems like in all these decisions (jobs, relationships, locations, etc…) that you need to experience an appropriate sample to grasp the range you are dealing with (set the low end and high end). You essentially create the metric by which to measure future experiences (not very romantic I know). And there are lots of reasons why this strategy might not lead to a “good” decision–I’m thinking of your maximizer vs saticficer post.

So here is a potential question for a future decision making post: how do we decide who we will have romantic relationships with? Is it a choice? What parts of it just happen (like attraction)?

but sure! Go for it!!

“best” in the quote is not an absolute unless you qut trying to go deeper into yourself, your partner and your relationship.

It reminds me of this question:

If you could have the best sex of your life tonight, knowing that for the rest of your life you’d be comparing every night to this night, would you do it?

Self perception also contributes to the problem. If one does not work on changing the “internal” circumstances as well, often they recreate the original negative circumstances in a new job, relationship, etc. Thus the effort to change is largely wasted because only the external geography changed, not the inner connections to the problem.

David Emerald wrote “The Power of TED” elucidating the diference between being a creator and a victim.
I’ve found the book very useful personally and with clients. (Link below. I’ve met David, but will only recieve a smile and a thank you for this link, no other benefits.)

Your blog is a good read Zot. Keep it up.

Bob

http://powerofted.com/main/